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One of the most famous examples – especially with relation to friendships – comes from the movie When Harry Met Sally: The issue here is the underlying assumption that the fact that an attraction It’s a popular idea.

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One of the central conflicts of the movie Chasing Amy, for example is that Holden can’t conceive that his friend Banky may love him without actually wanting to sleep with him.

This inability to come to grips with the idea of a love that doesn’t automatically mean hearts and flowers is part of what perpetuates the idea that men and women can never be emotionally intimate without sex or romance being thrown into the mix.

Men are unable to control themselves, therefor their every motive should be considered suspect.

Just as we have a complicated relationship with the idea of “love”, we have a similarly complicated one with “sex”.

it’s the obsession with the question that’s the problem.