These days, sexual addiction is a major topic of discussion in the online support groups. After the intensity and novelty of acting out with porn or cybersex, can sex with an ordinary long-term partner ever be just as good?
I’ve had brief offline affairs with some of these men. I think I am a sex addict and I really struggle with this. Unfortunately, while our society often rewards men for excessive sexual behavior, it simultaneously punishes and devalues women for the same activities.
No wonder it is so difficult for women to come forth and admit they have a problem.
Most partners feel betrayed and emotionally abandoned when either through disclosure or discovery they learn of their spouse’s online sexual activities, even if a real-life affair has not occurred. Give your partner space and understanding to express his or her hurt and anger without trying to avoid, dismiss, or make it different. Consider couples counseling, or attending a couples’ support group to help work through the rough times. Q: I have a larger sexual appetite than my partner, so for years to satisfy myself I’ve been involved in affairs, both online and offline; use porn; and regularly receive sensual massages. Part of what determines whether someone is a sex addict is not just looking at the person’s sexual behaviors, but also at how he or she is living his or her life.
Many sex addicts constantly lie to their partners, keep sexual secrets, and find ways to justify their sexual behaviors.
There is no shame in checking these out to see if they are a fit for you. Whether or not your partner is indeed engaging in sexually addictive behavior, your relationship is clearly in trouble.