but I can't completely because he's not really available." I don't know if I'm off base here. It's certainly allowing him to remain stagnant with you.
At least then it will better and with better chance to success. you need to decide if you can live the rest of your life being a homewrecker.
Don't be that person, that women that would brake up a family. Plus if he really love you, he will leave his wife and still be a father and then come back to you.
We only had 1 sexual encounter,but 1 time was enough for me to realize that ONE-he was only using me b/c he said he and his wife were constantly arguing over different things (had just lost his job, I guess I was his temporary shoulder to cry on until they made up), TWO-I found out shortly after that his wife was pregnant(so I guess that they weren't having sex as much as he wanted,so once again I was a temporary quick fix),and THREE-I don't like being second best,so I decided to stop talking to him before I started to develop deeper feelings for this man because in the end it won't even be worth it. It's amazing the kind of advice and support I see here.
And even if he decided to leave his wife,he might later on realize that he still loves her and eventually leave you in a bad situation that way. I'm in the same situation and have been with this man for a year now.
We have no plans to get married; we don't even plan to move to one coast or the other.