When he messages women on OKCupid, it’s time-consuming: He reads the profile and tailors each email with personal details. “The last person I matched with was Allison,” he says.
If he were to send a message to Allison on a Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday, it would read: Hey there Miss Allison.
But the onslaught of crass emails has been so exhausting that she began collecting the worst messages at her Tumblr, theyreallysaidthis.
The week before, he took a screenshot of a Tinder notification: 890 new matches, a personal record. Like a lot of guys, he was wasting time studying the profiles and photos of women who would never respond. “Not to blow your mind, but it’s disgusting …” He picks up his phone. He opens the Tinder app, but before I can see the first woman’s face, he swipes right: interested.
Then a friend shared a deviously simple online-dating trick. If the woman he likes also swipes right, he has an official match. “I will say yes to every single person,” James says.
By doing so, he exposes himself to less risk, an appealing upside to James, who’s had two difficult breakups.
He’s since had thousands of matches—so many that he’s had to refine his strategy.
“At first, I thought if you listed ‘casual sex,’ guys would realize that even though I don’t want to be in a relationship with you, we can still go out, get drinks,” she says, but it triggered a vulgar explosion of come-ons. But they don’t get that.” The attention, she admits, has been flattering—an ego boost after a rough breakup.