THE HEAVENS—Following a wave of high-profile angelic overdoses, the Lord, Our Heavenly Father, announced on Monday a massive crackdown on drugs being smuggled into heaven, purportedly by entering souls.
BURLINGTON, VT—Saying there could be no other cause for the abrupt change in volume, a report released Monday found that a nearby conversation definitely just got quiet to prevent you from hearing it.
SARASOTA, FL—Saying that the plump liquid center had been broken and was trickling warm yellow goo on all sides, a report released Thursday found that, oh, fuck yeah, an egg yolk was dripping all over a sandwich.
If you are in a LDR consider what rules you have already established. If you agreed because you felt pressured or didn’t want to lose your partner, you may soon feel resentment.
You should only agree to not seeing other people if both of you are in agreement that this is what you both want in the relationship.
In a way, it makes sense: he listens to your pointless rants and remembers your birthday, and you obviously enjoy hanging out with him. Sometimes, dating feels like a cruel game of “20 Questions.” When you date a guy who’s already your friend, you can skip the small talk.
But like any other type of relationship, this kind of romance has its drawbacks. “We already knew each other extremely well when we started dating, so we didn’t have that awkward ‘getting to know each other’ period,” says Julie*, a senior at Northeastern University who dated her male best friend.
INDIANAPOLIS—Saying that he has always dreamed about the experience, CBS Sports announcer Jim Nantz reportedly wondered aloud what holding a basketball might be like during Friday afternoon’s broadcast.