Letters are exchanged between the scammer and victim until the scammer feels they have groomed the victim enough to ask for money.This might be for requests for gas money or bus and airplane tickets to travel to visit the victim, medical expenses, education expenses etc.The merchandise is returned to the vendors, the pro-dater and the various accomplices pocket their respective cut of the take.
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The scammer will provide an excuse such as not being able to get an exit visa, or illness of themselves or a family member.
Scammers are very adept at knowing how to "play" their victims - sending love poems, sex games in emails, building up a "loving relationship" with many promises of "one day we will be married".
Also because military public relations often posts information on soldiers without mentioning their families or personal lives.
Images are stolen from sites by organized internet crime gangs often operating out of Nigeria or Ghana.
Victims can be highly traumatized by this and are often very embarrassed and ashamed when they learn they have become a victim of a scam and that the romance was a farce.